Reflection

Do you ever wonder how you are doing on your parenting journey? I do, quite often.I look at others around me, I compare myself to this person and that person. I think to myself, do I measure up? Then I realise when I feel empty and confused that I am looking to the wrong source for encouragement, confirmation, guidance and gentle whispers of truth. The world will weigh and measure me and always find me lacking, however when I remember to turn to the light for direction, I know who I am, how I've done and where I need to be headed.
I know that I am never compared to anyone else by my Heavenly Father and that his messages for me are so unique and personal that only He can give guidance on this journey I'm on.
Tomorrow my firstborn son is to be married, a prayer from my heart goes up to the heavens once more asking, have I prepared him well? Is he all that he needs to be at this point in his life to embark on the journey that lies ahead of him? Does he remember all the things that I have taught him? In response to my prayer comes whispers of love, and I know that although I am flawed and have made many mistakes, I have played with all the energy of the child within me, I have led with all the wisdom I have been blessed with, I have laughed with all the passion and wonder that raising such a pure child brings and I have LOVED with all my heart and soul and I am ready to send him on his way, albeit with a tear in my eye and a missing him in my heart but I know that the journey that lies ahead for us all will be filled with fun and laughter and new adventures yet unknown and I am grateful for all that has been and all that is and all that is yet to come.....

Thank You Fred!

What a great day, I borrowed the first in a series of books from a friend for my son to look at. They are math books, so with fear and trepidation I presented it to him this morning hoping that he would want to have a go. He has not wanted to have anything to do with math as he lost his confidence at school and it has been tough to get him to relax about it and have a go.
I sat down with him and we went through the first two chapters together, it was ok but not was I was hoping for as he was ready for a break. So I decided to prepare for my mum's arrival by cleaning the room she would be staying in and asked Jared to help. I let him know that we would be learning to clean a toilet. He said that would be fine.
He then obviously thought about it and asked if he could continue with the math book, Life of Fred, I agreed, hoping that this was the moment I had been working for all year....
As I was cleaning the most beautiful sound came from the lounge room, it was a burst of laughter, then another then a call to me to come and see! Wow I was thrilled and so was Jared. He loved this book and got right into the story. It is a very funny story and Jared could not put it down.
Day 1 of the Life of Fred, 3hrs of math, yipee!
Jared asked" Mum can I always have Fred teach me math?"
Mum " YES!!!!!!!" trying not to sound too over the top.
So all I have to say is thank you Fred, we love you.

Giving myself permission to dream .....

Well it's been sometime and I'm learning so much about myself at the moment. One thing I know for sure at this point in my life is that I have a mission here on earth and it is calling me from beyond the open gate.... I am more willing to listen now than ever before and am ready to say I deserve to dream, to think about my journey so far and to see that I can have a wonderfully fulfilling future. I have always been so ready to sacrifice whatever it takes for family and friends but sadly have not understood or accepted that I need to make the same sacrifices for me. 
We are all divine in nature, but I have to ask myself, do I really believe that Heavenly Father wants me to find my personal plan and have Joy in the journey along the way?
I have a strong testimony of who I am and whose I am, so why have I not yet treated this girl with greater kindness, compassion, acceptance and LOVE....
Today is the day it all changes, those who know me will understand that this is hard for me to say, my family will always always always be taken care of and yet I know that this gift to myself is really a gift to them. I want to leave a legacy of love to them so the time has come to say "Kindness begins with me".
We teach people how to treat us, likewise I have taught myself by my treatment of myself, how much I care about this daughter of Heavenly Father.I have been such a harsh critic, so impatient and have my body to keep on going no matter what. I will stop right now.
How exciting, I already feel a great deal of wonder just thinking about it. I know what I want to study, but there is so much beyond that, so much to think about. I know I would like to write a book, it scares me to say it out loud! What would my family think, do they know who I really am inside this body? Do they believe I can? Do they see the girl inside bursting with love for life?
Thank you to my mum who inspires me, who has shown me how to work hard and hold on. Thank you to my dad who has taught me to stand on my own two feet, to be courageous when faced with my worst fears. Thank you to my Heavenly Father who is teaching me, guiding me and beckoning me to find myself by fulfilling my mission on Earth. 
Here we go...I am Julia Marie...I know you're out there life, just waiting for me ...

A Spoonful of Sugar Helps The Medicine Go Down In the Most Delightful Way !

What a joy to discover that homeschooling is the sugar for a great education! We are on Day 3 and I can't believe that all the stress that I used to feel about school has gone. Jared and I are so happy with life and I'm so excited for the opportunity ahead of us to learn and grow together. I won't say why didn't I do this sooner as I believe there is a time and a season for everything.
We have started with memorization games, sewing a teddy bear and some math games.We plan on learning about North American animals, the world around us and Red Indians this term. We will visit museums and art galleries, its all very exciting.
There is so much to learn and so much I want teach teach Jared about life, our journey has begun and I am so deeply grateful ....

A Child Is Born....

I love this time of year when we celebrate the birth of the Saviour. I have thought about how I have allowed that gift to shape my life in 2010. 

I am so grateful for all that is wrapped up in the gift of the Saviour's birth and how it softens my heart as I allow the feelings it invokes to guide me along the way.

As a parent my thoughts turn to Joseph and Mary, I am touched when I think of Joseph and the strength required of him to protect his family from all who would do them harm. What an amazing example he is of loyalty, wisdom, obedience, and love. I can see the little boy Jesus by his side looking up at him watching his every move, learning from his earthly Father all that would help Him in His life.

Then my thoughts turn to Mary and I can't help but weep a little, each of us who have been touched by the love of a new born can know what it is to feel that protection come over you. I stand in awe of this woman who walked by faith, who walked uprightly before the Lord and raised, with Joseph, the Son of God.

I have reflected this Christmas Season what I can do to show my gratitude for the gift I have received through the Life of the Saviour. I have concluded that the best way I can show my love for Him is by following his example and serving and loving those around me. By standing as a witness of Him and sharing this knowledge and testimony with all who have ears to hear.

My wish for all this Christmas is to feel the the love that was given to us by our Heavenly Father when He sent His son to earth to show us the way back to Him, to enjoy the peace that it brings and to share that with those around us.

Have a very happy Christmas and may the new year bring peace, joy, hope and blessings to your life.....

Emotional Healing

" Somewhere along the line, we assume - erroneously so - that what happens to us causes our happiness or unhappiness. This is not true. It is how we perceive what has happened to us and how we act upon that perception that results in the emotional reaction we feel. We cannot always control what happens to us, but we can most certainly control the way we react to what has happened." Kathleen Rawlings Buntin.
For all those who have wounds to heal and are searching for that peace to come, all I can say is that come it will when we earnestly seek for that healing from the only true source by which it is given. We are healed as we yoke ourselves to the Saviour, by following him and by doing our very best each day. As we do this we find that we are being upheld in the very hollow of his hand when times are too difficult to face alone. We are healed as we draw nearer to him and when our self esteem is based upon what our creator thinks of us then we will not personalize the behaviours of others as our paths cross and their heavy loads press upon us for a time. We will be able to withstand these buffetings and look above the smog and still know that we are good enough. As we develop this divinely given self esteem we will find strenghth enough to be the extension of His arms and lift another's weary head, reassure a troubled heart and love a wounded soul so that they can know to whom they should look for their inspiration, guidance and self esteem. As we walk uprightly and with certainty about our divine identity, we allow others to do the same.
"True joy can be born of painful experience. The atonement of Jesus Christ makes this joy possible."Catherine Christensen.
Thank you to all who have shone so brightly in my life that I now know how and to whom I should look for my source of inspiration, revelation and confidence. Today I am still the same girl I was at that beautiful age of eight in my desire to be good but have learned so much of what is required by way of sacrifice to stay on that path of goodness.

A Pleasure To Meet You

I have been waiting in anticipation for a little while now to finally meet the man that would determine whether we would qualify to register as a home school. The phone call came and the appointment was set, 3.30pm Tuesday 9th November. The reality all of a sudden hit me, I had to show that I would be a great teacher for Jared ! I needed to show a plan for the year, our goals, our curriculum, now I was feeling nervous.
Geoff arrived and within a few minutes I felt a lot more relaxed, he explained that he had been working for NSW education board for 40 years, 20 years of which were spent as a teacher and Principal. This was going to be interesting I thought. Geoff explained how he had learnt so much from the many home school families he had met over the years. That he now could say a few things for sure having observed these families. Firstly that there are many different ways to educate children and that homeschooling was definitely a great way to go. That these students were able to transition into University and deal with all those changes and pressures with great success and that all the stigma attached to home schooled children and how they are not able to deal with social settings etc simply were not true, in fact in his experience he found the complete opposite to be true. Well after that introduction you can imagine that I was now feeling far less overwhelmed. We discussed all my ideas and Geoff gave such a lot of good advice. He chatted with Jared and looked at the school room, and of course loved our little garden with the chickens happily foraging in the grass. He finally declared that he thought that Jared had a wonderful opportunity ahead of him and that all that we had discussed sounded wonderful. That was it ! I couldn't believe it, we were now a registered school, I felt so much happier having met the lovely Geoff. He gave me confidence and with all this new advice I felt that I had a clearer picture of how we were going to start this adventure and where we wanted to go.
Thank you Geoff It was a pleasure to meet you .......